I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
