I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
