I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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