The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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