I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
