I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
