she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
