Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
