I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
