Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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