If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
