Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
