i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
