I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
