bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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