And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
