her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
