Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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