why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We named our party play list daddy issues
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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