i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
