is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
