Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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