My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
