Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
