hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
