Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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