HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
