Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
