Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
