the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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