Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
