i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
