Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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