Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
