Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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