I hate all girls vehemently.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
