My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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