why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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