I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
