i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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