I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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