the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
