Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've blown a few things in my day
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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