Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
