How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
