I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
