I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
