Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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