somebody snuck up and got me drunk
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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