Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
