PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My bed smells like the plague
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