i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
