I just threw up on my dentist
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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